Saturday, October 30, 2010

4 Inventive Last Minute Halloween Costumes

So, Halloween's tomorrow if you haven't noticed. You haven't? Well you have less than 24 hours to make a costume. So, for the less Halloween-inclined, here are some tips to help you do your best.

1. Make a cheap, lame costume
Materials: In the above example, a scissor and a piece of cloth. For anything else, just anything you can find around your house.

Time: 5 minutes

A fairly easy way out. Choose a costume that takes approximately five minutes to make. Surprisingly, this will often be an adored costume, such as that which is seen above. An overused costume that never fails to amuse. But choose wisely, or else you might just look like an idiot running around with a costume that took 5 minutes to make (which is true, but you don't want to admit that).

2. Don't make a costume
Materials: Your living human body, preferably clothed

Time: 0 seconds

An increasingly popular, and often times less risky method. Just don't make anything. People will get the idea that you hate Halloween and you're just being forced into the festivities, but it's better than taking your chances with a pathetic costume and looking like a fool.

3. Pretend to be in costume when you're really not
Materials: See #2, possibly a silly hat for good measure Time: Up to 30 seconds depending on the presence of a hat
A very crafty method; just lie. Unless the person you are facing is a mastermind of pop culture knowledge, they'll never know that the person you claim to be does not in fact exist. This one's a bit trickier to get right, but the results give you the respect of being in holiday spirit but also the laziness of not having a real costume. Overall, a great method that I strongly recommend.

4. Go freestyle
Materials: Extremely old Halloween costumes that you actually put effort into, whatever is left over at the party store

Time: 15-30 minutes

Here we have a true showcase of brilliance. Smash up random pieces of costume to create a brand new, strangely disturbing new costume. For example, in the example picture above, the person is a vampire Santa Claus clown-rabbit hybrid with Wolverine claws and an afro in a jersey and shorts wearing a funky tie and sunglasses. This was achieved just by using random Halloween costumes from the closet. This method may not be safe for people who don't want to look stupid, but if you don't care then go for it.

Hopefully this guide will help you out as much as it did for me. I'm opting for method 3, if you were curious.

Have a safe, merry, and jolly Halloween! Be sure to wear excessive amounts of reflecting tape!

Thursday, October 28, 2010

Cat Thursday

A weekly ritual that is sure to keep this blog alive. And so, I give you a cat video.

Monday, October 25, 2010

Video Game Pitch

Hey guys, good news. I managed to get ahold of a meeting with the Activision CEO, and I'm gonna pitch him a project that is sure to sell millions. Here's a sneak peak.
Well first off, the title; As you can see, the title appeals to a wide audience. Also note the "special edition" tag, an absolutely necessary addition. I mean, why else would someone buy a strategy guide and RC car these days?

Moving on… in case you couldn't tell from the title, the game is about a post-apocalyptic war zone in which two groups, the Greasers and the Socs, constantly shoot the guts out of each other for no evident reason (the reason is explained in the companion novel). An excellent premise for multiplayer action! But for those folks who don't like showcasing their lack of skills online, the campaign features 8 extremely long cinematic stages filled with useless achievements, in which you play as the appealing protagonist, Bone X. Ray, pictured below;

Bone is a bad to the bone 35 year old Greaser. His hobbies include origami and knitting. But on the weekends, he's a gritty murderer who fires a barrage of bullets at every passerby, no matter how innocent. He sometimes rips the internal organs out of his victims. Clearly a true role model for our youth. Bone's girlfriend is Katie Iris. Unfortunately her concept art would not be permitted on this PG-level blog, but she's set to appeal to pubescent teens everywhere. Furthermore, Bone carries giant guns everywhere he goes. Below is concept art for a complex gun.

But no game would be complete without online multiplayer action, am I right? You can choose between the Socs and Greasers and face off against up to 128 players at once. The violence is nonstop in this fun-filled game of "who can annihilate the most innocent bystanders". For the less killing inclined, there's another mode in which you scavenge for jewels beneath a pile of corpses. Both modes, however, have the fun power of Xbox Live voice chat, which cannot be turned off ever. And of course, only 4 multiplayer maps are included; the rest will be sold in $35 packs of 5. In conclusion, here's some concept art by our 10 year old focus group member Andy Brown of what he believes the game should look like; we plan to stick to this relatively closely. Missing from this picture, however, is the intense amount of bloom.
I'll be sure to let you guys know how the pitch goes. If everything goes according to plan, the game should hit Xbox 360 and PS3 in close proximity to the next Call of Duty game.


A Lame Introduction

Artist's dramatization of the creation of this blog

Welcome to the dullest blog-type thing you will ever read! This is Bryko, the least interesting kid on the Internet. This blog will probably be canceled in a week, but it's worth a try. It will mostly be updated with bad drawings and cat videos. That's about all there is to know.